Don’t forget… to be forgetful

Posted on 3 October 2012

By Greg Gordon

Having an excellent memory is considered a valuable asset. But new research suggests the ability to forget is just as important and can contribute significantly to our mental, emotional and physical wellbeing.

Imagine what it would be like to remember with perfect clarity everything that ever happened to you – all that you’d ever heard, read, seen or experienced. It would be too much – resulting in complete mental and emotional overload.

Because we’re all exposed to enormous amounts of stimuli every day, the brain has to make instant decisions about what to pay conscious attention to and what to ignore. Without this ability, it would quickly become overwhelmed.

Differentiating between important and irrelevant information is crucial if we’re going to be able to focus on any task – fortunately it’s something we do naturally every day. Distant birdsong or traffic noise, for instance, may not even register in your conscious awareness when you’re concentrating on work, but the phone ringing in the next room may well be a spur to action. The decision whether to disregard or pay attention to what’s happening often takes place below the level of conscious awareness, but it is also possible to consciously choose what we react to. The better we are at deliberately suppressing unwanted or irrelevant information, the better we function, and the happier and healthier we might be.

Thinking clearly

Obviously the ability to keep distracting thoughts out of your head (the thought of being at the beach instead, for example) when trying to concentrate on work, is a useful skill. Similarly, being able to discount information that was once relevant but is now outdated is important too. A focused brain, able to put aside the trivial and the unnecessary in order to concentrate on the important and relevant, is more efficient and productive.

New research shows that the less cluttered the brain is by irrelevant data, the better we are at remembering new information that we actually do want to keep. So, somewhat paradoxically, the more we can forget, the more room the brain has to remember.

Emotional repression

Being able to disregard neutral information is one thing, but what about memories and emotionally charged events? Dr James Butler, a neurologist at Mediclinic Constantiaberg, says the better we are at ‘forgetting’ painful memories, the happier and healthier we will be.
While traditional psychotherapeutic approaches claim total repression of major emotionally traumatic experiences is unhealthy, and that uncovering and ‘working through’ painful memories are key to recovery, it does appear, in certain cases, that an ability to keep a painful past from intruding constantly on one’s thoughts is helpful to one’s sense of wellbeing.

‘There are good reasons that we don’t remember everything,’ says Dr Butler. ‘Bad memories – like post-traumatic stress disorder – can destroy people’s lives if they hold on to them. We have a dynamic memory system that makes less useful information more remote. If it didn’t, we’d be in a state of torment for the rest of our lives,’ he says.

If we’re good at forgetting and putting behind us more minor emotional traumas such as social embarrassments or rejection, we’re bound to be happier than if we dwell constantly on our failures and upsets. Constant replaying of negative memories and disturbing events you can do little about will affect your mood negatively and likely cause or worsen anxiety and depression.

It may even make you less popular. If we have good emotional fortitude, don’t make mountains out of every molehill, and can forgive and forget minor social squabbles and infractions easily, we’re more likely to have a wide circle of friends and get along better with family. Ultimately, the greater the number of our social connections and the larger our support structures, the happier and more secure we’re bound to feel. So the ability to forgive and forget can have important consequences.

Forgetting physical pain

Physically painful events can be extremely traumatic, but mercifully we often seem able to forget just how badly something hurt. In some cases the brain blocks out the memory of the entire event, including the circumstances leading up to it, as a sort of protection mechanism. In instances where we are obliged to or choose to undergo the same painful experience more than once (such as childbirth or visiting the dentist), forgetting the extent of pain is not only merciful but necessary.

Cause and effect

Connecting the physical and the emotional

Negative thinking and painful memories don’t only produce painful emotions, they can also cause physical problems. The connection between emotional and mental stresses and ill health is well established, with high blood pressure and heart problems being two possible consequences of a high degree of stress.

If you’re able to forget your problems routinely (even for a short periods of time) and employ strategies to prevent painful memories and stressful thoughts from circling repeatedly in your mind, you may be doing your physical wellbeing a favour.

There are many techniques you can use to help promote relaxation and a peaceful state of mind. Some of the more popular include meditation (where you focus your attention on your breathing, for example, thereby allowing other thoughts to be put on hold) and visualisation (consciously thinking of positive and relaxing scenarios).

But perhaps the key to true mental health doesn’t only lie in forgetting or de-emphasising the negative, but also in consciously choosing to accentuate the positive. Movies and books such asITALS andITALS highlighted the concepts of positive thinking and creating one’s own reality, but how practical and factual are these ideas really? Adherents point to the revelations of quantum physics which seem to show that the nature of the world is far more elastic and informed by our consciousness than most of us imagine.

The information provided in this article was correct at the time of publishing. At Mediclinic we endeavour to provide our patients and readers with accurate and reliable information, which is why we continually review and update our content. However, due to the dynamic nature of clinical information and medicine, some information may from time to time become outdated prior to revision.